The infamous journey of Mr. St. John

Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes you feel like an alcoholic like having your parents come visit. Cleaning my house hours before their arrival, I dismantled a precarious stack of cans and bottles about 5 feet high - talk about a moment of clairity. It was almost like a fucked up archeological dig - each can tells a story: indoor hide and seek games that got out of hand; late night jam sessions of "The Night they Drove Old Dixie Down, and about a million Bruce Springsteen songs over the stereo. So many memories - I wonder if the recycling dude will have any idea how much he's throwing away.

Dude - I was hanging up a poster of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when my i-tunes got all in the spirit of things and played the theme song to the show. It was on random too... I'd be freaked out by this coincidence, but i'm to busy moshing around my room, and stabbing imaginary vampires with imaginary stakes.

Current Music: The Starting Line

Seniores pizza + hella cheap wine = good time

woooooooooooo! woot.

Current Location: avail

you are all alone at night writing a paper (and feeling lonely), yet you take comfort in the fact that your ol' pal Clippy is curled up in the corner of your screen. He's just so cute!

Current Music: Bane

Dude...so I wake up this morning and I'm about to go to work, when I get a package at my door. Inside is the new bouncing souls record! Yay! This may not mean much to yall duders, but to me it is the equivilent to having an intense dream about pizza all night - bathing in cheese, eating slice after slice of warm gooey goodness, and then waking up and finding dominos at your door. I LOVE IT!

Current Location: The Beatles

Will and I got into an argument while I was walking home from work the other day. The duder said his facial hair was 20 times thicker than mine. I said, "Yeah right! It can't be more than 8 times thicker!" Things began to escalate into mother defamating and name calling, and then the gauntlet was thrown down. A four day beard off, and here are my results. You be the judge of how much thicker willy's beard is than mine...be honest! Sorry its small...blame image shack...just use your imagaination, allright?

Current Music: american nightmere

-Food Poisoning-
Today was pretty shitty. My dawg Gordon came into town, and as you might of read in his lj, we both got food poisoning. Mine felt like something was crawling around in my stomach, making mince-meat out of my innards, and causing me to spew every so often...not fun. Seriously. Really not fun. On the other hand, the day was not wasted! In my sickness, we watched Wayne's World, and Walk the Line. Not too shabby.

-What's wrong with me-
God, I don't know if it is laziness or what, but it is so hard for me to actually update this thing with a legitimate entry. And it isn't like our share of crazy stuff isn't going on to give me material! For instance, last night Rob had some chums over, and they got stoned. Seems normal. Was. But the conversation was top notch! Topics of conversation ranged from vagina transplants, to our new earwig pet Huey and his hermit-crab tendencies - seriously, the dude crawls in shit and makes it his home.

-Blister lady-
The other day, I was working in the shoe department at Mervyns, when this lady asked me for advice. She proceeded to tell me that she ran a race earlier, and that she had a blister that was bothering her. Apparently because I work in the shoe department, I'm all of a sudden fucking Doctor Schools. Before I have a chance to let her know about my medical inadequacies, the lady takes off her shoe, and puts her disgusting foot on cash register. She then looks at me like I should be impressed or something, and in a weird, revolting way I was. The chick's puss filled blister looked like a small continent on her foot. I advised her to put that thing away, and I quickly changed the subject.

Current Music: The Get Up Kids

It's been a while since I've done this shit, so I'll just tell yall a little bit about what's going on in my life:

-I'm writing a lot more for this website called Pastepunk.com. If you guys want to check some of that shit out, that'd be cool.
-I hate school.
-God, It really has been too long for this. I don't even remember how to do a proper entry... I had this all planned out. Start with a good joke, embellish my writing with a few big words, and provide interesting details about my life in SF. FUCK!
-I only played guitar hero a little bit when I was in Davis (5 hours), and it was amazing. When Julian, Rob, and I move out, were getting that shit. It's gonna happen... Oh yeah...we are calling the new place Bryant 2: the sequal(with out Sam). That'll show him.

Current Music: jets to brazil

Everyone needs to click this link, because it is extremely embaressing, and really freaking hilarious. HAHAHA!

http://www.youtube.com/w/RYAN-HART?v=n623i2qS1cg&search=ryan%20hart

Current Music: Saves the Day

It's been a pretty amazing few days. I got the chance to see Lifetime at Slims on the 29th, and it was pretty damn amazing. I got to sent down with Dan Yemin (Kid Dynamite, Paint it Black, Lifetime) and rack his brain, and he is such a cool dude, with oh so many cool things to say. I'll post the link to that shit when I transcribe it...

...

On another more poopy note, did any one ever walk in on an adult taking a poo when they were younger? One time, when I was probably 8 or 9, I was at my friend Drew's house. Drew was a pretty cool cat. He was kind of a weirdo, into like pro wrestling and shit that kinda freaked me out, but he had a sweet game system, so who gives a fuck?

As we were playing video games, I realized it had been a while since I had gone to the pooper, so I politely excused myself, and bolted to the bath room. I quickly located the bath room, and threw open the door, and the site that I saw was truly horrifying: Drew's wrinkly, old grandma taking a massive dump on top of one of those raised, plastic toilet seats that old people use (though I'm not exactly sure what they do).

We both sat there staring at each other in silence and fear for what seemed like an hour. Both of us were probably thinking the same thing..."What the hell is this person doing during my shittin' time?" What I really remember was the look on her face. Her eyes were gigantic, and her anxious look is seriously tattooed on my brain.

I slammed the door, and high tailed it back into Drew's room. I don't think I ever told him about it. I attempted to avoid his grandma for the duration of the weekend (i think it was a sleep over), but the real akwardness came when I saw her in the kitchen.

What can I say except, "I neeeeeeed you, booomin' granny."

Current Music: Saves the Day

My gimp ankle is acting up again. As High School was winding up back in '03, me and a couple chums were out on the football field playin' a wholesome game of Ultimate Frisbee. The game went from being tons of fun, to me tripping in a hole (in front of tons of pretty ladies), and twisting the living crap out of my ankle. This happened to be the day before our graduation ceremony, and I ended up having to walk the stage with crutches and a big ol' plastic cast on my foot.

The above story has significance; for realz. Last night I was walking along the curb when my foot decided to take a nose dive into the gutter. I lost my balance, my foot turned sideways, and made all sorts of unpleasent noises. I went to the doctor today, and it turns out that I sprained the bastard again, and might have torn some freakin' ligiments. It ain't so bad though...didn't have to go to work today. That and I get to walk around with a limp, which I think makes me look like I got in a fight or some shit.

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The informative and enertaining blog Barebones Hardcore posted an intriguing interview done by the Washington Post with Henry Rollins, and it's a good read...yall should check that shit.

http://bareboneshardcore.blogspot.com/

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Do not forget people...Rob's b-day is on the 21st. I hope all of you in Chico buy him a drink or two and show him a good time.

Current Music: The Arcade Fire

I am having a San Francisco MATTISLAME(as I tried to spill my heart out on cyber space, Sara decided to type the previous words; I digress)... Ahemm...as I was saying,I am having a San Francisco renaissance of sorts. When I first moved to this big, scary city, I spent most of my time hanging out at home, and playing video games. Lately, I've been getting my lazy ass up to see all sorts of shiz, and the results have been quite astounding! Why, just the other day, my friends Katie and Rob found ourselves chasing after a giant white cross that we saw off in the distance. We walked for miles, battling razor sharp weeds, devastating mud pits, and a helluva lot of men with english accents pointing us in the wrong direction. We did end up making it up there, and it was rad. Religious even. I plan on doing much more shit like this. Who knows whats next? Maybe i'll even make my way over to that big golden bridge thingy...

Current Music: Comeback kid

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4068767512452275304&q=fall+out+boy

The biggest problem I had to face today:

I really wanted to play some video games, but I was laying down on the couch and I didn't feel like getting up.

I fucking love vacation! Merry Christmas, happy holidays yall!

Current Music: Mogwai

Tonight was my night off from work, so I decided to visit the movie theatre with a few friends to...you know...relax. As I waited in front of the theatre to arrive, a dude walked up to me and asked me what time it was. I answered promptly, and he walked away.

A few minutes later, the dude came back and asked if he could use my phone. Hesitantly, I answered yes, and gave him my phone. After he talked on it for a few seconds, he started walking away from me quickly; not knowing what to do, I ran off after him.

I walked up to him with the most tough guy face I could muster, and asked him for my phone back. Dude put that shit in his pocket and asked, "what phone?" Then I got pissed. I started yelling, "give me my fucking phone back" over and over again...it was more of a temper-tantrum then a rant really, cause there wasn't anything I could do about this.

The man walked back to the front of the theatre, continuing to deny that he had the phone, and I continued to yell at the top of my lungs, "give me my fucking phone back." Finally, the dude put his hand out and held it in his hand tight, and I tried to pry it from his fingers. He wouldn't let go, so I asked the bum next to me for help; then the dude let go. I tipped the bum for the evil eye he gave the dude, and ran inside the theatre.

Sam was right. I'm way to trusting of people in this city.

Current Music: Jets to Brazil

When I was around eight years old, I collected Marvel superhero cards. This was after I had gotten over the baseball card phase (which were cool in their own right, but bats and gloves can't compete with fucking wolverine!), and one of my most prized possesions was an almost complete set of 1994 spider man cards. They were so rad; you put them in the binder, and they would connect with each other making a sweet scenario! Then my dad decided they were not christian enough for our house and made me get rid of them, and I still hate him for it to this day...

Except now I am getting them back, for like a dollar! If this auction goes well, then I'm gonna be rolling in nostalgic spider man cards for less than the shipping and handling!!! Yes!!! Thats what you get dad!!!

Current Music: i am the avalanche

If you guys knew how long I have been trying to capture the ugliest picture of myself, you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. I think i kind of look like one of those turtles from Mario brothers, only way madder.

Current Music: my morning jacket

-Saturday night: Got to go see Lagwagon with my dawg Julian. Got to interview Joey and got into the show for free. It was fun.

-Sunday: Went with my dawg Justin to the second show of Lagwagon. On the way there a dude asked me if I wanted to do a line of something with him. I politely declined and continued playing my cellular phone poker game. He then informed me that I was cute and that I should get off with him at the next stop. I said, "no thanks" and the big ass dude gave me shit. I gotta get my head phones back.

After the awesome show, I was waiting inside with Justin when I had a sudden craving for a cigerette. I informed him that I was going to buy a pack, but when I tried to get back in the venue, I was told that I couldn't come back in. I waddled my drunk ass down to Market, and got home way late. Next morning I found out because of my stupid addiction, I missed hanging out with Lagwagon, the Lawrence Arms, Fat Mike, and Yellowcard. Sigh. That shit should be on an anti-smoking billboard: "If you smoke, you won't get to hang out with awesome rock stars."

-Monday: Saw Grizzley Man. That was one of the most interesting and disturbing movies I've ever seen. See it.

Current Music: Lagwagon- "resolve"

Current Music: Lifetime!

As I was walking home from my friend Cory's house in downtown San Francisco at 2 in the morning, I witnessed a very sureal and disheartening experience. I walked down the street, wholly frusturated that I had left my only cd at Cory's house, then looked up and saw something that I had never seen before. On the corner was a lady rubbing her body seductively in a very short mini-skirt, and revealing tube top. At first I thought that she was trying to pull in bodies from the street to some strip club or something, but after a closer observation, I realized that she was a prostitute. Then a SUV pulled up, and the girl strutted her shit all the way to the car, no doubt anticipating that she was going to get her rent for the night.

Honestly, this was a really strange experience for me. This girl was on the cold ass streets of SF, selling her body (as well as her dignity); this wasn't fucking "Pretty Woman," where a young, wealthy dude was going to sweep her off her feet and take her away from the mean streets. This wasn't cops. This was across the street from me, and seeing someone feel the need to degrade themselves in such a manner was so sad to me.

This is not meant to sound like a Jerry Fallwell-esque rant about the decay of morals in America; it's clear to me that shit like this happends everyday and that a lot of people get stuck in undesirable situations due to circumstances out of their control. I don't know why that lady was out there. I don't know if she had low self esteem due to sexual abuse, or if she just needed the money. I don't know if she enjoyed her job, or loathed herself for doing it. The only thing I do know is that that woman deserves better, and deserves so much more than what she subjects herself to.

Current Music: The mountain goats